Posted by Paisley Beebe | 12 Comments

Dyslexia and Me

What Dyslexia Means to Me.

Dyslexia is a hard word to remember how to spell.

Dyslexia is embarrassing….why is it embarrassing? Because people still judge you based on your gamma and spelling. You are not seen as “professional” if you can’t spell or write well.

Having Dyslexia makes writing anything very slow and frustrating, particularly if you are trying to get the spelling correct.

Dyslexia and Dyscalculia are linked, one is having trouble recognizing grammar and words and how to say them and spell them, the other is not recognizing or remembering number progressions and being able to do basic maths. I have both.

Dyslexia and Dyscalculia is hard for me knowing that genetically I gave both also to my son.

Dyslexia means I can’t help my 9 yr. old with spelling and grammar and he tells ME how to spell things. But he loves me and understands we can’t all be good at everything.

Dyslexia means having to suffer confusion in my sons teachers eyes, when she can’t explain a maths problem to me to help my son, or forgets and doesn’t understand I cannot correct his spelling and grammar, she looks at me like I don’t care enough to do it, she forgets I have Dyslexia and I have to remind her…but she doesn’t really understand.

Dyslexia in Australia, according to the Government does not exist..and there is no support for my son in our education system, they just keep throwing the same methods at him. Look up Dyslexia and Australia….you will see what I mean.

Dyslexia/ Dyscalculia means I can’t add up my own change at the shops. It means I have to trust the shop keepers that they are giving me the correct change. I have to use a calculator for even the most simple sums.

Dyslexia means I can’t help with toting up the bill at restaurants. I get too flustered to even use my iphone.

Dyslexia means I’m sensitive to people ridiculing my errors in spelling and maths and grammar.

Dyslexia means I was told constantly that I was lazy at school, that I seemed to be so bright but so lazy.

Dyslexia means I never thought or considered I was bright enough to go to university.

Dyslexia means I can be discredited when I write something publicly by people who consider correct spelling and grammar far more important than the message written.

Dyslexia means I have to keep it hidden or explain it to people who don’t understand why I can’t just try harder…

Dyslexia means having to constantly tell myself that I’m good at a lot of things that others are not.

Dyslexia means I can’t read Music but have to learn by ear.

Dyslexia also means I listen well…and am a good mimic.

Dyslexia means I can read, but can’t write my thoughts out well.

Dyslexia means having to explain to people I can’t read words that are new to me out loud correctly as I have no understanding of how to break them down and pronounce them.

Dyslexia means if you do not have a recognizable name and I get the pronunciation wrong, its not because I don’t care about you, its because I haven’t integrated it the new word into my memory, it takes a lot of time and effort for me to do that, much more time than the non-dyslexic person.

Dyslexia means I do have a name now for my lack of ability but I hate having to keep telling people I have it, in order for them to understand I’m not sloppy or carless but just missing a vital part of my brain cognitively.

Dyslexia means I have become an expert at disguising my inability for numbers, time, and anything that requires the ability to understand calculations or progressions.

Dyslexia means I became expert at skills that did not require mathematics or correct spelling like Drawing and Drama and Singing.

Dyslexia means I was sacked from jobs that required good literacy or maths. I cannot work behind a counter at a store or be anyones PA or secretary, I have rarely had a job where I have had to do that.

Dyslexia is not something that can be “fixed”

Dyslexia means not being able to remember a word you want to say.

Dyslexia requires a different approach to learning, but as yet most teachers don’t understand that.

I hate my Dyslexia and my Dyscalculia its painful, and when its clear that I can’t hide it, or disguise it, it brings up very deep feelings of hopelessness and memories of not being “good” enough. Memories of people laughing at my ineptness and lots of red crosses and lines across my pages of work. What I wrote was not read well…as my grammar and spelling was terrible.

Dyslexia and my ability to appear intelligent despite of it, has meant I did not discover it until my son was diagnosed with it a few years back. This means I had to go through a great deal of grieving for the little girl that I was, who tried so hard but was told she didn’t try hard enough so often, she believed she was lazy.

I was never diagnosed with Dyslexia I was “too bright” to have had it.

My brother was not diagnosed with Dyslexia he was also “too bright” to have had it.

I’m  amazed that there is still such shame about illiteracy.

I’m amazed that there are a lot of people who would balk at making fun of a deaf person or a sight challenged person, but have no compunction about laughing at or sneering at a person who cannot spell or write well. Even if it were because of lack of education…why is that still happening?

What is so right about getting the exact right grammar and spelling correct, in this world of so much text.

Read the intent if you can, behind the words, and never assume a persons bad grammar or spelling is carelessness or thoughtlessness.

There are plenty of careful caring intelligent people with Dyslexia and Dyscalculia.

Thank god for spell check..but sometimes spell check asks me what the hell am I trying to say!

I wish Dyslexia was taken more seriously and understood better.

And please don’t ask me to explain it. Look it up, there’s plenty written about it.

Why am I writing this? Because I don’t want to live in shame any more. And I am sick of making excuses for it, or explaining it, and reminding people of it.

Yes I can’t spell well, even the most simplest words, yes I can’t add up, and its not because I don’t try or  was lazy or stupid. My brain was designed to do think differently. I’ve more than compensated for it. I do not want my son to grow up thinking he is stupid and lazy…he is already saying that, and he is only 13.

There are many many people out there with Dyslexia or who have had a gap in their education. Why put them down for it? why the need to correct. Get over it, and read the content folks. Yes good grammar is important and yes correct spelling is important to get the correct meaning but some can and some can’t.

Correct my spelling if you are a friend, I appreciate that sort of help, especially if asked. But If you read something I write and only comment on my spelling you may just be asserting how bright you are and how stupid it appears I am. Is that what you really wanted to say?

Paisley

Read More

Posted by Paisley Beebe | 3 Comments

Sad Day For Radio….

Before I created the concept for “Tonight Live with Paisley Beebe” with Treet.tv, I worked as a volunteer Radio Host for nearly 3 years at what most Americans know as a “Public” Radio Station “Community Radio” as it is known over here. I hosted ,to start with, a 2 hr Jazz program with interviews called Jazz@5 on Fridays,(you can still hear some of my interviews on my www.leoniesmith.com website),  then moved into Morning Radio for another 2 shifts. The Station was known for its eclectic tastes in Music, from Jazz, Blues, Soul World ect…FM99.3 had the reputation as one of THE most successful Community Radio Stations in NSW winning various awards ect..but surviving on mostly community good will, sponsorship, some Govt subsidies and volunteers. It had a great community around it. But  new management moved in and decided to broaden its appeal, by stearing away from the music side of it and its Jazz Blues World Music side. My show was axed and a “Drive Time” show was put in place. I declined to host other shows as the Jazz Program was of course my favourite, and the Fri night shift suited my hours. I had stopped hosting the two Morning shows I was doing, when Tonight Live got more and more demanding.

I did think of going back to Bricks and Morter Radio, maybe for money, especially as the kids were now at school, and I had time to do so, and was contacted more than a few times to come back and co-host and Host shows on FM99.3, I had, by that stage good skills and experience, I knew they were finding it tough to find qualified volunteer hosts, but “Tonight Live” was just too interesting and challenging to me. It was fullfilling my creative side in not just interviewing very interesting guests in Second Life and discovering great music and musicians and promoting them, but also the visual side of producing which of course you cannot get in Radio. So after a call earlier this year from another host trying to get me back I decided that I wouldn’t go back at all, not even to fill in, I gave up any ambitions I had of being a paid radio host to concentrate on producing TV in SL, even though I thought our numbers were very small compared to R.L community Radio even.

Up until today I was under the impression that my RL radio job had thousands and thousands of listeners. I was never really told of the listenership, just that my show was “one of the most popular shows on FM99.3″, which is hard to gauge with over-the-air broadcasts, and is usually done by surveys and guess work. The station did not start streaming on the Web until about a year ago. (I nagged and nagged the Station manager and engineers, to get it streaming but was always met with resistance…luddites..)

Today I found out about the demise of the station after some 27 years, it apparently was run into the ground by the same people who felt drive time radio would be more popular than Jazz between 5-7 on a Friday night…I ALSO found out the REAL figures of the listnership. The Director of the station…(who will remain nameless), stupidly left a private powerpoint presentation up on the web…publicly… from this years Annual General Meeting. (I wouldn’t want these figures publicised if I was Station Director, I’m not suprised the station has gone to the wall with such stupidity) I found it easily, by just googling the station Directors name, I wasn’t even looking for it! The numbers of listeners to the station, documented by the management, was gobsmakingly small! Now.. this was no small station, it had the reputation of being the highest profile, most successfull community Radio Station in Sydney, if not NSW, and there are hundreds and hundreds of community radio stations in NSW. The figures on that presentation were- 1000 listeners a week, -less than 100 listeners at any one time, and no more than 500 listeners for a really popular show…(was it mine snort…?)

You could have knocked me down with a feather…here I am, aware that “Tonight Live” gets a global audience from anywhere between 10 thousand and 18 thousand viewers per show! and I’m telling people, that its “like a community Radio Station sized audience!” wow how wrong was my thinking…I thought all this time, that my real life gig was the one with the big audience. Holy Hell! Thank god I jumped! Now, it maybe that the size of the audience for FM99.3 has dropped considerably since I was there..(people cried when I left …well not really but in my imagination they did, they certainly complained..) But its is nowhere near what we are getting on Treet.tv. I don’t have any idea of listener or subscriber-ship numbers on other Community radio stations in Australia, and certainly no idea what Public radio gets in the States…even if you could trust anyones figures! but thats a huge difference. We aint doin so bad!

I have also heard unconfirmed reports of Cable TV getting tiny amounts of viewership much much less than what you would expect compared to Treet.tv shows.

All of this is interesting for me, because of the perception of what I’m doing here in SL when I talk about it  in real life When I try to explain why I left bricks and mortar radio, (which was allways an easy sell, people know what that is, and treated me somewhat as a minor celebrity because I was on Community Radio! for goodness sake,) to do what Im doing now.. !!! he he well you can imagine…”who watches that?” sometimes there is a sort of sad patronising look in peoples eyes…like “poor dear she can’t get back into radio so she’s doing pretend radio..in some weird internet game with pretend listeners”.

I can sort of understand that…I mean if I hadn’t discovered S.L and decided one crazy day to have a go at this, I’m sure I would think the same. But this whole thing has got me thinking…what are the REAL stats out there for viewership and readership?…How can I translate the viewership we have on my three TV shows (Tonight Live, Fabulous Fashion and Live n Kickin) to dollars? how can I present what we are doing, and prove how many people we have watching these shows to real life interested parties, (without Neilson) who might promote us or advertise with us particularly those who are interested in global reach?

Ok.. so compared to commercial Radio, TV, and some major online broadcasts, we are totally small potatoes right now, but where are we really by comparison to other broadcasters? On my shows in RL Radio I used to cue up sometimes 10 to 15 ads a show! (used to drive me insane on a 2 hour shift) It’s astounding to me that FM99.3 got that many advertisers for so little audience!..Its really about credibility isn’t it, and marketing not numbers?…well maybe numbers at the top of this game, but there is definitely misconceptions about success and figures I think.

With more and more broadcasts of many different kinds hitting the internet, and now with Digital Radio and digital TV & Cable, the competition for the listeners and viewers is going to be incredibly intense.

FM99.3 may not have had a patch on the listeners we have on Tonight Live, but 27 years in the community gave them crediblity even if the advertisers were lied to about the listenership…and I bet they were….if the listenership was that small no wonder it was tough to get enough advertisers, (we did a lot of subscription drives!) the advertisers and sponsors they did get would have seen very very little, in fact, almost no increase in sales if the adds went out to so few listeners…yes they played the same adds over and over on all shows, but in March 2009 that was only 1000 listeners a week!…

I suspect that internet broadcasting just doesn’t have the cred that bricks and mortar does…yet…..but it will change. I wonder how long, it will take? I’ts got to be just common sense, if you can spend less to broadcast, reach more people…cater your advertising better..present it better?…surely its got to get some attention.

The lack of credible listenership and viewership stats for lots of internet broadcasts means that  they get bypassed by advertisers.

Interesting times.

thanks for watching

And have a great Thanksgiving all the viewers in North America.

Paisley

Read More

Posted by Paisley Beebe | 0 Comments

This Week Tonight Live is UP!

Paisley welcomes two great guests on this week’s Tonight Live: Inarra Saarinen – Founder and Artistic Director of Ballet Pixelle and Vivienne Darcy, one of the Ballet Pixelle dancers, then we meet Freestar Tammas, Musician and Owner of the FSB Saturday Night Musicians Showcase

Read More

Posted by Paisley Beebe | 0 Comments

Frets Nirvana on Live n Kickin!

Frets Nirvana on Live n Kickin 24th November at Tableau at the Luna Lounge 9pm slt.

Frets Nirvana grew up in the rock and roll city of Cleveland, Ohio and in his good old band days could be seen hanging out and playing in clubs with the likes of Joe Walsh and the James Gang and Phil Keaggy and Glass Harp. While playing guitar for as long as he can remember, his love of that instrument has developed into a focus on acoustic fingerstyle guitar. His music interests are wide. At any moment in time you can hear him playing something from Merle Travis, Chet Atkins or Jerry Reed then moving on to old Delta type blues tunes, picking up a resonator guitar to play slide then playing an arrangement of a classic Beatles tune. Frets feels that life is too short to experience one genre of music and as a result his playing keeps the listener interested by offering a variety that demands Frets constantly concentrate on improving his skills. Of course his old rock and roll roots still come out now and again as well! If you like good instrumental music and you like guitar then check Frets out in his his new life in Second Life! You are guaranteed an enjoyable music experience!

This Guy is hot! if you like guitarist, you will be very impressed with this. For the Aussies reading this Frets in RL is a good friend to Tommy Emanuel who now lives in Nashville, and I have to say on hearing Frets he is a little similar in style at times.

As this is a Homestead Sim and the venue is “intimate” we have to restrict entry to the first 20 people and crew…so get their early if you want to be right there and on camera! otherwise you can watch the show live on http://streams.treet.tv/live.mov at 9pm slt

The Venue at Tableau http://slurl.com/secondlife/Tableau/73/124/133

Tunes in SL giving away a CD

Live n Kickin” is a new Live Music Weekly TV Show broadcast on Treet TV and Producedby Paisley Beebe’s CompanyPerfect World Productions, is now available to be viewed on theTreet.tvwebsite, in world TV’s and now on Itunes!

“Live n Kickin “ is Sponsored by TRAX Live Music Resource Center, Tunes in SL, Second Nights Professional Streaming,Nats Jazz Club

Read More

Posted by Paisley Beebe | 0 Comments

This Week on Tonight Live with Paisley Beebe

Ballet in Second Life?

The Ballet Pixel in Second Life have been getting bigger and better over the last few years. Inarra Saarrin Founder and Artistic Director the Ballet Pixelle produces professional classical and leading edge works that creatively utilize the Second Life(®) virtual global community, and First Life, environments

UNLIKE OTHER BALLET COMPANIES, BALLET PIXELLE USES NEW TECHNOLOGY TO TAKE THE ART FORM INTO A UNIQUE ENVIRONMENT TO NEW AND EXISTING SPECTATORS – THE FIRST AND ONLY OF ITS KIND. THE COMPANY PERFORMS IN AND TAKES ADVANTAGE OF A 3D INTERNET VIRTUAL WORLD CALLED SECOND LIFE.

On Tonight Live Inarra will be showcasing some NEW technology and talking about the Advances in Virtual Ballet.

Freestar Tammas is a Singer Songwriter with a passion for social justice and Singing for Change, she has a folk activist side of her that is really strong and genuine. But she is also one of the biggest supports of Live music in Second Life, providing a scouting opportunity for venue owners to hear a line up of 10 musicians each Saturday night, called the FSB Showcase. It takes place in a VRR that allows the performers to change the 3D scenery to suit their music and create a desired mood.  It is now coming up to 100 Showcases. And Freestar has some big plans for the Future of her music and showcase in the works.

“Live n Kickin” is the New Live Music TV show brought to you by Perfect World Productions who also bring you “Tonight Live with Paisley Beebe” and “Fabulous Fashion with Angie Mornington” and it is poised to become the most popular Music show in Second Life. A regular Concert in Second Life can hold about a max of 100 people maybe more on a multi Sim venue. But Live n Kickin has the potential to go out to 10′s of thousands of Viewers, and early stats are proving that this show is climbing up the ratings! Broadcast by Treet.tv Delinda Dyrssen is its Producer. There is no Host, its Live music only! 1/2 hour of concert Filmed live By Treet.tv and broadcast on Treet.TV. Paisley Beebe is its Executive Produer and Artistic Director. This TV show opens the way for innovation and excellence showcasing the best of SL musicians in the Best of SL locations. Delinda will be telling us more about the show and how this incredibel shot taken from the show (left) from Dexter Ihnens show filmed this week was done! watch the show here.

Read More