Posted by Paisley Beebe in Tonight Live Show | 12 Comments
Dyslexia and Me
What Dyslexia Means to Me.
Dyslexia is a hard word to remember how to spell.
Dyslexia is embarrassing….why is it embarrassing? Because people still judge you based on your gamma and spelling. You are not seen as “professional” if you can’t spell or write well.
Having Dyslexia makes writing anything very slow and frustrating, particularly if you are trying to get the spelling correct.
Dyslexia and Dyscalculia are linked, one is having trouble recognizing grammar and words and how to say them and spell them, the other is not recognizing or remembering number progressions and being able to do basic maths. I have both.
Dyslexia and Dyscalculia is hard for me knowing that genetically I gave both also to my son.
Dyslexia means I can’t help my 9 yr. old with spelling and grammar and he tells ME how to spell things. But he loves me and understands we can’t all be good at everything.
Dyslexia means having to suffer confusion in my sons teachers eyes, when she can’t explain a maths problem to me to help my son, or forgets and doesn’t understand I cannot correct his spelling and grammar, she looks at me like I don’t care enough to do it, she forgets I have Dyslexia and I have to remind her…but she doesn’t really understand.
Dyslexia in Australia, according to the Government does not exist..and there is no support for my son in our education system, they just keep throwing the same methods at him. Look up Dyslexia and Australia….you will see what I mean.
Dyslexia/ Dyscalculia means I can’t add up my own change at the shops. It means I have to trust the shop keepers that they are giving me the correct change. I have to use a calculator for even the most simple sums.
Dyslexia means I can’t help with toting up the bill at restaurants. I get too flustered to even use my iphone.
Dyslexia means I’m sensitive to people ridiculing my errors in spelling and maths and grammar.
Dyslexia means I was told constantly that I was lazy at school, that I seemed to be so bright but so lazy.
Dyslexia means I never thought or considered I was bright enough to go to university.
Dyslexia means I can be discredited when I write something publicly by people who consider correct spelling and grammar far more important than the message written.
Dyslexia means I have to keep it hidden or explain it to people who don’t understand why I can’t just try harder…
Dyslexia means having to constantly tell myself that I’m good at a lot of things that others are not.
Dyslexia means I can’t read Music but have to learn by ear.
Dyslexia also means I listen well…and am a good mimic.
Dyslexia means I can read, but can’t write my thoughts out well.
Dyslexia means having to explain to people I can’t read words that are new to me out loud correctly as I have no understanding of how to break them down and pronounce them.
Dyslexia means if you do not have a recognizable name and I get the pronunciation wrong, its not because I don’t care about you, its because I haven’t integrated it the new word into my memory, it takes a lot of time and effort for me to do that, much more time than the non-dyslexic person.
Dyslexia means I do have a name now for my lack of ability but I hate having to keep telling people I have it, in order for them to understand I’m not sloppy or carless but just missing a vital part of my brain cognitively.
Dyslexia means I have become an expert at disguising my inability for numbers, time, and anything that requires the ability to understand calculations or progressions.
Dyslexia means I became expert at skills that did not require mathematics or correct spelling like Drawing and Drama and Singing.
Dyslexia means I was sacked from jobs that required good literacy or maths. I cannot work behind a counter at a store or be anyones PA or secretary, I have rarely had a job where I have had to do that.
Dyslexia is not something that can be “fixed”
Dyslexia means not being able to remember a word you want to say.
Dyslexia requires a different approach to learning, but as yet most teachers don’t understand that.
I hate my Dyslexia and my Dyscalculia its painful, and when its clear that I can’t hide it, or disguise it, it brings up very deep feelings of hopelessness and memories of not being “good” enough. Memories of people laughing at my ineptness and lots of red crosses and lines across my pages of work. What I wrote was not read well…as my grammar and spelling was terrible.
Dyslexia and my ability to appear intelligent despite of it, has meant I did not discover it until my son was diagnosed with it a few years back. This means I had to go through a great deal of grieving for the little girl that I was, who tried so hard but was told she didn’t try hard enough so often, she believed she was lazy.
I was never diagnosed with Dyslexia I was “too bright” to have had it.
My brother was not diagnosed with Dyslexia he was also “too bright” to have had it.
I’m amazed that there is still such shame about illiteracy.
I’m amazed that there are a lot of people who would balk at making fun of a deaf person or a sight challenged person, but have no compunction about laughing at or sneering at a person who cannot spell or write well. Even if it were because of lack of education…why is that still happening?
What is so right about getting the exact right grammar and spelling correct, in this world of so much text.
Read the intent if you can, behind the words, and never assume a persons bad grammar or spelling is carelessness or thoughtlessness.
There are plenty of careful caring intelligent people with Dyslexia and Dyscalculia.
Thank god for spell check..but sometimes spell check asks me what the hell am I trying to say!
I wish Dyslexia was taken more seriously and understood better.
And please don’t ask me to explain it. Look it up, there’s plenty written about it.
Why am I writing this? Because I don’t want to live in shame any more. And I am sick of making excuses for it, or explaining it, and reminding people of it.
Yes I can’t spell well, even the most simplest words, yes I can’t add up, and its not because I don’t try or was lazy or stupid. My brain was designed to do think differently. I’ve more than compensated for it. I do not want my son to grow up thinking he is stupid and lazy…he is already saying that, and he is only 13.
There are many many people out there with Dyslexia or who have had a gap in their education. Why put them down for it? why the need to correct. Get over it, and read the content folks. Yes good grammar is important and yes correct spelling is important to get the correct meaning but some can and some can’t.
Correct my spelling if you are a friend, I appreciate that sort of help, especially if asked. But If you read something I write and only comment on my spelling you may just be asserting how bright you are and how stupid it appears I am. Is that what you really wanted to say?
Paisley
Perhaps if you lost the dyslexia to get ‘normal’ then you would lose your musical skills as well and wouldn’t that be a tragedy. Good luck!
A friend of mine William May is very outspoken about dyslexia as he has it too. A few years back I met a couple from Perth who had developed some software to aid in learning for people with Dyslexia. Bill ended up appearing on prime time television explaining how important their software was and to encourage kids to not be held back. Anything is possible, as he has proven. He is the creator of Walking with Dinosaurs and is one of the nicest people I have ever met.
i am truly honored to know u an proud of u 4 sharing this. I totally know were u are coming from i had simulir childhood experiences. Its really easy 4 people to judge what they don’t understand but u cant let it get u down. Remember that u are intelligent an accomplished despite what you perceive as flaws an that makes u a more flexible an adaptable person because of it. gives u huge hugs:)
Besides all the spelling errors Im now aware of in the the above post, by passed by my spell checker…..which I will leave..I guess I should clarify its NSW, where we live, that has the least amount of support for Dyslexia. It is because, if Dyslexia were officially recognised, the Govt. would have to pay for assistance, to sufferers. Dyslexia as a term does not exist in any way in NSW support services. All learning delays have been thrown in the same bag,which they call, Specific Learning Delays…which is about as unspecific as it can possibly be.
The only rules I learned for maths and grammar and spelling were done with creativity, rhyming rules etc..and there weren’t many of those. That way of learning has been thrown out with quisenaire rods and Abacuses. Luckily for us we chose a Rudolf Steiner School for my son and he has had access to many creative ways to learn, but they don’t understand his “specific learning delay” anymore than any other school does. there is no education for teachers about it at all. Its not just a process of practice…I’ve had a lifetime of practice..and I still can’t tell if its, etc…or ect…for e.g I have a blind spot.
Its too late for me, I’ve adapted. I just have to deal with my own insecurities and my concerns now for my son. I can’t teach him maths and english, only encourage him to read anything that interests him and encourage the things he is passionate about. I of course understand him better than anyone, and whilst it is a comfort of sorts to him, it breaks my heart.
Dyslexia also has a its good side. It means u see the world differently. Get a grasp of the whole as well as the details. I’ve heard of architecture and engineering companies who only employ dyslexic people as the have a good mind for seeing engineering and architecture in ways that non-dyslexic ppl can’t. Sometimes I feel glad I have dyslexia when I see ppl who can’t understand what I see so easily because the way my mind works differently to others!
ui
Completely agree with isenhand. It’s always worth seeing the benefits of dyslexia. Having seen many dyslexic children you often see various different skills that dyslexics benefit from. I’d recommend watching this talk on the dyslexia benefits from Professor John Stein: http://www.dystalk.com/talks/89-the-dyslexia-benefits
thankyou for everyones comments and support, I’ve had a tough few days, I guess its a bit of purging…Im not sure If I feel better or worse. So why did I do this? risk ridicule open my very personal self up? For understanding I guess. Understanding of not just me, but others who suffer at peoples ignorance about what is a very common disorder.
I’d like my son to find help, but I feel its going to be too late, he is about to enter high school and so little is known about how to teach kids with Dyslexia and Dyscalculia, by the time the Govt. gets round to treating it with some compassion, it will be too late for him.
Dyslexia in Australia needs to be recognised as a “disability” before any school side support will happen and it is not seen as such so there are basic reading classes…but nothing designed specifically for Dyslexics, who have a very unique problem not solved through repetition and explanation. Perhaps I need to write a letter to my member of Parliament…petitions have already been written but no one seems to be listening. I could move to the U.K if I was allowed, ( I doubt I would be allowed) he would get support there but my entire family is here.
I know the upsides of Dyslexia I truly do London..but the problem is the downsides here in Australia far out weigh the upsides because of the lowering of self esteem, that happenes when you are told you are failing over and over again by an education system that treats all Dyslexics as lazy or difficult, not unique. Paisley
Hi Paisley,
Julie
Thanks for writing such an honest account of your experiences.
The more people speak of their experiences the more it will become common knowledge. As parents of kids with learning/processing difficulties I guess it is for us to keep writing & petitioning and raising awareness, good on you for making a start, I will also rise to the challenge and write to our local member and ? Who else ?
I am also in NSW, and know what you mean by lack of services. If your child has a diagnoses of aspergers or ADD, or ADHD then how fabulous we could get some drugs for them!
My son has some sort of processing problem. He is highly creative and very intelligent, but cant spell, is very messy, his writing always looks like it is about to slide off the page, and maths is a struggle for him. The discrepancies between his written work and his actual intelligence has been measured via the weschler intelligence scale through the school counselor, but theres not alot on offer after that, I`ve booked him in for visual processing assessments through our local optometrist and am hoping she will be able to advise us.
I read an article about gifted children who also have learning difficulties such as dyslexia, They are referred to as twice gifted! Isn`t that a great way to look at it! I read dyslexic people often have highly developed brain activity; as to learn a word they have to learn all the possible combination s that word might appear to them in and then decide if the word they think it is, makes sense in context with the rest of the text.
Thanks for the inspiration
Hi Paisley,
I am going to quote from an article I wrote:
“Until the focus has been changed, the learning style of dyslexics acknowledged and changes made to teaching styles, our dyslexic children will continue to be disabled.
Our aim should not be to further damage our dyslexic children by publicly labeling them “disabled” and thereby perpetuating the loss of self-esteem, feelings of failure and loss of hope for a positive learning experience and future career. A dyslexic has a unique learning style which deserves to be acknowledged, funded, and equal opportunities made available to access higher education.
Unfortunately, too many adults have been disabled by the system. The negative effects of their learning experience has been too great to overcome. Their potential destroyed, their self esteem in tatters and a sense of failure ever present and undermining their ability to be successful or happy. For these numerous people I would never presume I can label or define their experience into one word. All I can say is that I have a level of understanding as to the pain that is felt by those adults disadvantaged by the reading (or math, dyscalculia) problem of dyslexia and I support them in seeking appropriate representation and funding.
I consider myself to be a dyslexic (reading, writing and math) in recovery. For 8 years I have been healing my wounds, smoothing the scars and building my self-esteem. I consider myself a survivor not a victim. To treat me otherwise would be deeply wounding.
I understand some of the reasons to get dyslexia recognized as a disability. One reason is to access funding from an established source(depleted source). Another reason is to address discrimination for job seekers and employees in the work place.”
End of quote.
To add on: Funding in the disabilities sector is already spread very thin.
NSW has set up funding to train teachers in Autism and dyslexia. Unfortunately, the teachers that will be trained in dyslexia will still offer the same ineffective methods.
Thank you for adding your voice.
Regards, Brenda
I am 14 years old and live in england. I was diegnosed with dylexia about a year after I came into my new school but its not like it does anything now that I know. At my school (private) it is very high acheiving and only accpets the top 25%. When i had my test done, they said I was in the top 6% but when teachers do exams and they read out the bottom mark, top mark and average mark, mine is always the bottom. I feel really stupid at this school and even the dylexia support “specialst” says she was “dismayed by my attitude” and that I am lazy and I should just try harder. They said when I get home I should get out all the work I have done at school and right it out again to I remember it. At my old school they tested us every year for dylexia but I was never found to have it. Everyone thinks I am lieing when I say I am in the top 6% (sorry to say it again) and one girl said “But you can’t be, becuase you’re dylexic” She wasnt even saying it to be mean, it was just what she thought. I get marked down on the constant exams for spelling and grammer and my mum and dad and gran and auntie and basically everyone say “You have to learn how to spell otherwise people think you are an idiot, and you can’t just use your dylexia as an exuse” I just hate it so much and no one understands becuase i am the only person in my class and there is one other girl in the year who has “dylexic characteristics” and I have moderate to severe and they make us think like it is some horrible secret which no one should ever know you should be so ashamed of it and I am so unhappy all the time at school and you’re writing explains just how I feel and how unfair it is and I am so sorry to go on about myself so much but its so nice to meet someone who understands how hard it is.
Amelia thank you for your letter, I do try to explain to people who don’t know…(and most don’t) that having Dyslexia ts like having a blind spot where you just can’t visualise what is meant to go next. My other son who is 10yrs is the opposite of myself and my older son, he has an almost photographic memory for words and spelling, he tells me he sees the words or numbers in his imagination and just spells what he sees…I see the first letter and then a sort of word with dark blanks and moving letters all jumbled up. And if I did see a word in my head it would still be spelt incorrectly
unless is was one I know.
I also have a list of words, that I just never get right, some of them are really really easy, but there is something about them that doesn’t make sense, and the only way I can get them correct is to use a rhyme to remember the order of the letters. One is etc…I will often mostly write it ect…What is really annoying is when spell check doesn’t know the word Im trying to write! and I almost yell at my spell check “Oh come on Its so close! you must know what Im trying to say” It can take me a full 5 mins of trying every single combination of lettering until I give up and try to think of another word…People don’t understand its not that you can’t try or won’t its because its like being short sighted….telling someone who is short sighted to just try harder to see better, is ridiculous, just like trying to tell a Dyslexic to try to spell better. I have a blind spot….where the missing letters are…so I try to spell it the way I think it might be spelt..and hope for the best. Some words are easy..and I don’t know why? I think its because they make sense the way they are spelt, and other words don’t look anything like they sound, like Tongue normally I can’t spell that one at all…but I got stuck on it recently and for some reason I can spell it now sometimes…but really that shouldn’t say Tongue, it should say tung you…don’t you think? The other thing I get wrong is all the grammar, and apostrophes I can never remember where to put them! you would think you would remember something you have to write over and over….like your, you’re you are ect…and yes my teachers and mum all explained to me why they are written like that…but well..I still don’t get it..and you don’t want to ask why, and say “I don’t understand” in class all the time do you…so you panic..keep quiet…and don’t learn…
I think it would be cool if you could have a combined spell check with voice check, so when you are trying to spell a hard word and spell check can’t work out what you are trying to say you can say it out loud and it will help spell check a bit…
Its a shame you have no one that understands, I haven’t met many that do either…my son’s teachers don’t understand it either…
I have an idea of how to help kids in school but I don’t think anyone has done this yet. Its learning maths and spelling with rhyme or a song…I remember melodies and songs very very well, because the melody helps me remember…what if you could learn how to spell difficult words with a rhyme…or a short ditty. Maybe there is a program out there that can do that…but I haven’t seen one, most teachers just keep trying the same old techniques of reposition and explanation, as I said you can’t tell a short sighted person to keep trying sigh…
There is a program called “Ear Worms” its a way of learning languages through music and spoken word. You apparently just put it on…and don’t concentrate on it at all. You could have the music & words on your ipod and go for a walk, not really listen and you learn to speak Italian it just goes into your subsconcious..Well I have recently asked this company if they could think of a way of using this technique to teach maths or english to kids with Dyslexia, and they are interested in this.
Keep an eye out (or an ear out
for “Ear Worms” I think you can buy the language ones on iTunes, I know there is a website. I think that one of the owners has Dyslexia in their family too. I think this program would be stunning for anyone with Dyslexia to learn. Repetition is so very hard to learn without some sort of link to music or Rhyme or movement, I’ve tried that with Times Tables…and it doesn’t work…but …I learned the alphabet from the little song from Sesame Street you know the one? I still use that song when I need to work out which letter comes next…for the dictionary or looking something up…Its so simple…but at 14 years old you should not be trying to work all this out yourself, its not fair. You do need to get a proper diagnosis, by a child phycologist, then once you have that, no one will question that you have it…then you need to go see someone who knows about Dyslexia with your Mum or Dad so that person can tell them why you can’t just “try harder”
I wish you well Amellia, Just think.. when you get sad sometimes…that well, lots of people live with Dyslexia and do really really well, look up all the famous people on the internet who have Dyslexia and have become famous or really really good at something. (I’ve done that
)Its not easy for them, but lots of people aren’t smart either like you, and will never get really really good at what you want to be good at. Being clever will really help.
best Wishes Paisley
Hey. Its amelia
two years on and im 16, still dyslexic of course but doing better. I was moved out of my last school because of stress related breakdown :/ FML. i now go to a state school where although there is no support, there are more people who are dyslexic and the teaching style is much easier for me to learn 
there are some things i still find very hard but i am no longer defined by my disabilities 