Posted by Paisley Beebe in Tonight Live Show | 17 Comments
Paisley Beebe Goes Undercover as a Noob
Noooo that is not me with the Noob head!
In my effort to be taken seriously as a Talk Show host…and …interviewer…I decided that with Carl Metropolitan from the previous Community Gateway of Caledon coming on the show this week to talk about the Linden Lab Community Gateway Program recently being disbanded, that I would go DEEP undercover as a NOOB. To go where no Talk Show Host has gone before…What would I find? what obstacles would I have to overcome?. This was of course a natural journey for me, being, as I studied for 3 years as a Method Actress, it would be easy to impersonate a Noob…well not really impersonate but to find the essence of the noob…and get into the motivations and psyche of the noob, using one or more of the 43 motivational techniques I had learned and memorised in my Method acting classes.
Firstly… I had to find how to join up on the Second Life website…that was no easy task….this was like a quest, a test? where is the” join now” button?? oh Big Gold Button!!!……Clicks it…um…I was then taken to the “create a name” screen! OMG I have to create a name…um…Boompsie was a name that no one would associate with a serious journa…um Talk Show host like me..Boompsie Qissinger is the name I chose because phonetically it sounded like a very impressive name….a man who was a famous ambassador a mediator…a crook???? um ok…Now to choose an avi, I choose a serious looking sort of UNDERCOVER Avi, and …oh should I lie about my age? um…..well why not? never be legally be able to do that any other time! Oh come on! I only took 10 years off!
Ok I’m in!!! oh asking me to become a premium member ummmm spend money…um well haven’t done that well this month advertising on our show…so maybe not yet…have to wait till ratings come out…
Um not in…yet.. I have to download an application…whew big app…Ok firing up the app…”good bye Cruel World!!! ” Now….what was my password! um nope not sent to me in a email…Ok now there is a very loooong terms of service agreement…see you in a few hours…sigh…
Yikes I’m in! there are 3 of us here,… at a place that looks like sort of heaven!…one person is a ….Ruth!!! how the hell…and one is a cloud..um now he is trying to talk to me..He tells me its his first time, “isn’t it exiting shall we explore”…(bet you say that to all the Noob girls sheesh!) I walk inside heaven following the arrows, only using my left hand on my arrow keys, to simulate the noob walk to really get into character……oh right the noob walk is already given to me…rolls eyes.
I walk in, and the only thing of color is a …Parrot??? hmmm why? a parrot??? why…The parrot is talking to me…asking for a kiss hmm I heard about sex in this place…My first SL semi sexual experience, I visualise my wonderfull real life husband as I’m typing kiss you… to portray “noob kisses bird” in the script…oh ok this is Improv… the parrot totally gets it! and is also in character! not….
I follow more arrows and come to a huge board with choices ..Hmmm I choose “find help”….cause I have no money for shopping and I’m scared to go exploring…
I get to this sim that is sort of Italian or Spanish looking and see a huge sign! “Get Paid for adding this location to your profile pics” what’s a profile pic anyway..(totally in character now…BE A NOOB…FEEL the emotions of a NOOB) I’m now into my 20th minute after log in…hmmm I don’t have money is it really money? monopoly money? is it safe?
The pop-up menu is asking me to identify the letters I’m seeing to prove I’m not a Robot? like are Robots banned in here is this like Blade Runner!!! yikes looks wildly around…for Darryl Hannah! …ummm I can’t work it out! bloody hieroglyphics!!! gees I’m already dyslexic!….gawd…
At the same place I meet someone called.. “info specialist”…but he doesn’t talk to me, must have got one of those Info Specialist Degrees off an internet site…..hmmm Holy crap he’s a Robot! or a replicant!!! do not look him in the eye!!! with this sort of blurred non characteristic face…he looks like…Tom Cruise! yes thats it…
I find this teleport thingy like from StarGate..(NOT not another Gate this week…I don’t know if I can take it!)…and…ok I see my avatar jump up on the vortex thing, but I disapear…ummm (this is where one would have to know to click escape? but there is not info to tell you this..so I get out of character for a sec, to do so…grumble grumble…) sigh I am trying to be truthful to the character of Boompsie here but really true artists just aren’t appreciated these days…
Ok… Im now in very blue confusing place with signs all around, sigh do I have to sit here and read everything!!! I walk around and then (lagg walk) walk outside the floating room through the wall OMG Im falling!!! …that was weird..right now even though I know what Second Life is…I feel strangly bewildered and over-stimulated with information on signs, not knowing which ones to read. and pissed off that I keep getting stuck in sort of jello! and I’m now lonely and looking over my shoulder for stray Robots!…where are the people!!!
Fell down and landed in a sort of Italian square…but there is no one here……Where is that cafe that was in the video..on the front page of the website? This place looks like it..but it must be a public holiday is it closed? I walk around lots of empty shops with rent here..and I get stuck…can’t walk…!!!!!
I click one of the signs to Go to a club Music! People!!! …no ….one…there…..sigh…wow I thought this was suppsed to be a place to meet people in Second Life…ok now trying another club from the info board…no one here…and I look like Im walking through jelly…My eyes are now bleeding…see pic right…
I wish now I went exploring with that happy clappy guy that I came in, with but I was too shy…besides I think he was part of a Cult.
Ok no one here either…Im going to see what these buttons are on the browser…
Ok there is this thing with landmarks, will click the one for “help island”…as I seriously need help…(mental help)…
Oooh people but all kinda weird looking, and wow there’s a child here..I thought this was for over 18′s! should we do something about that!!! looks around…No one says hello, I feel like they all know each other…I’m a bit shy
I see a Freebie Store ! yay! clothes!
Ok the freebie store clearly has not been updated since 2005!!!!!! look at this crap!
really no-wonder this is free sigh…Gees if this an example of what people are faced with when they arrive… sigh…wow….Even Pip Linden looks good next to these 2005 NOOB clothes and skins!! Heeeelppp I’ve been kidnapped by alians back to 2005! whoops..wrong character…
Ok so this has well and truely been A “first hour experience”…(in character now) and truely I just don’t get it…where are all the fantastic sims and the Live music the models?….I see a LOT of empty places..and I feel totally intimidated..
OMG I am a NOOB! totally immersed in my method acting undercover role!
And you know what? I just wanna go back and sit on the couch and watch the telly. Cause I went nowhere interesting, I was overwhelmed with signs and I had no interest in sitting there trying to work out which ones to use or read..I liked my avatar…but the walk was dorky and I would never take up those freebie clothes for anything! they were not a patch on the clothes I came in with!!! (and thats Boompsie saying that NOT Paisley!)
Ok Im ready! Im ready to meet Carl Metropolitan, armed, armed with an immense amount of personal experience now, and Linden Lab should be using me totally as Guinea pig…ah well not pig…um example..umm…well they SHOULD Listen…
For more information on why Linden Lab scrapped the Community Gateway program, and left NOOBS to flounder even worse than before… like I just did…and why the Gateway Program Organisers like Carl believe their programs were worth it… join us on Tonight Live this Sunday 6pm at the Northpoint Studio! or online at www.treet.tv/live
How many new signups are there every day right now…?
Linden Lab was approached to appear on this story but they said its the weekend and they have to take their kids to soccer and don’t work Sundays…
Paisley NOOB Beebe..
Wow Paisley.. interesting read.. no wonder they loose so many people in the first hour. Ive invited friends in rl to check out SL and if they log in without me.. pfff .. they say nah.. really didnt find it very interesting. I think a lot of the people who do stay after the first hour are just very determined or “Extra Curious” or just happen to run into an interesting person and want to log in again to talk to them again.. something happens and some of us stay obviousley. But yeah.. The labs have a problem.. So many great events great builds fun things to do in SL and you dont find out about it right away as a typical newb. Sigh.
Paisley, I used to have alts on the recently abandoned Help Islands that you and I entered Secondlife on…I think we could agree it was a much better experience than this fiasco the Lab has created.
I too explored this new entry “experience”… bleh!
While many of the “Community Gateways” had certain agenda’s I didn’t agree with, the experiences were vastly better than what we see now.
I have chatted with your coming guest Carl Metropolitan over a period of a couple of years now and if all those community gateways had been run by him I think that program would have become a success.
That was very enlightening and humorous Paisley. I have to say that it was not like that for me when I first logged on to SL. I think the first experience depends on the users familiarity with GUI’s and terms used to identify things in a graphical world and an old timer helping them, although everyone has a different first experience.
I’ve brought many online friends from other chat programs over to secondlife. Most never log on more than twice because they claim there is too much to learn, it’s too overwhelming.I do send them all to help island and even assist a few there but 9/10 end up back with their two dimensional chat programs. Funny thing is they are mostly web masters or network engineers or graphic designers, so I think a user has to want to invest some time in learning to use SL. They have to see the value it may offer to them, whatever that may be and sometimes they can’t see that on their own.
In my case it was personal, because my real life boyfriend of 4 years had gone back home to Europe and we wanted to be able to spend time together (we’ve broken up since) in some form that simulated real life and secondlife offered that.
For me, what made the biggest difference was others helping me (personal assistance). In my wanderings, I’ve found some really helpful people who were kind enough to ‘show me the ropes’ of secondlife. I think that is key to users sticking around. Community Gateways are key to keeping users on secondlife because of the personal greetings, help and possible friendships. It’s a sad day when a stranger enters a town and there is no one to greet them or make them feel welcome.
Hi Samantha, you are right it wasn’t like that for you, the Lindens have changed it, in fact there isn’t even that big exhibition space that was there when they opened the new Welcome islands, with all the extra clothes or Linden homes…I was just presented with a sign…with about 5 options…I don’t know when they took the other stuff away or if it was still there…and I missed it..and I have no idea why or how when I clicked get help on it, it took me to that particular Sim? is it like Russian Roulette? Im hoping Carl will know more about it.
I very often drop by help island when I’m bored, looking to help out SL newcomers…and this has been even more the case since coming back to SL after a long break. Just this past weekend I spent 2 hours with a noobie who was a software programmer. After the perspective granted by time away and a year spent in a MMO in the meantime, I was constantly astonished by his questions. How do I change my hair…where are the clothes I just bought…where are all the people… And to every question, my internal response was, “HOW THE HELL IS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!”
Being totally new to virtual worlds before SL, I had always dismissed concerns over things like the first hour experience, lag, instability, slow-loading textures, etc. I mean, I had dealt with it all and survived, so everyone should suck it up and move on! But now I recognize that I simply had nothing else with which to compare it. Not ONE of the people I’ve spent hundreds of hours with in LOTRO would give SL more than 5 minutes. These aren’t inept noobs, but hardcore gamers used to living through an avatar by working a UI. If they arrived inworld to find utterly basic facets of the SL experience totally unfathomable, to barely be able to walk thru the crippling lag, to have to wait 10 minutes for the world take shape around them…they’d give SL the finger and never look back. The fundamental elements of virtual living and “playability” that all other virtual worlds have mastered are nothing short of a train wreck in SL.
And it breaks my heart. As someone who has gritted through the learning curve, I profoundly love this insanely unique world. But now that I understand for the first time just how great the challenge is, it makes me almost despair for the future.
I’m gonna go have a big glass of wine now, thank you very much.
Nice to hear from you Nightflower welcome back to S.L
After a huge push to try and attract new users to SL its really incredible that L.L scrapped this program before putting another in place, imagine how many new users there have been in the 2 weeks since the scrapping that have given up after the jello walk let alone got to Help Island! I also interviewed a Noob (as myself Paisley Beebe) the day before at Caladon, who had got there via Welcome island…and we spent some time talking about what his experiences were. I’ll talk more about that on the show. But I have to say Caladon was very nicely set out and a calm and safe environment with easy signs to read and the way it was laid out really dealt nicely with lagg also. More to Come!
yes, i think it’s essential to hook up with someone quick who can help you learn the ropes. i was lucky. i found a supportive group on about my fifth day. those first four days were something else! i think part of the learning experience was about being willing to adventure out and actively look for experiences and friends. to me that may be the biggest barrier to new users who are accustomed to spoon-fed content.
I think we should all have a hubby … you let him go in first and figure it all out and then show you the ropes … but when you hit the first decent dress shop .. you sort of shove him outta the way and say I am good … I will take it from here .. after you get the credit cards of course ….
Is LL on a suicide mission? This is sad.
Had I arrived and found what you found, Paisley, I may never have ventured forth. Fortunately, my first hours(s) in SL encompassed a much richer, vibrant, funny and socially engaging experience then the ghost town that greeted you.
Even being chased by a giant penis in the Help Island sandbox beats the sound of crickets.
Second Life has dozens of amazing sims with fabulous interactive content that are fun, interesting, non-commercial and generally have avs around and would be a great way to get noobs engaged before they say WTF and bail.
I’ve seen a couple of brilliant orientation concepts as well and had I expeienced those when I first arrived, I’d have been dragging strangers into SL.
Iteresting article Paisley. I was at your show one day, btw… when a friend was interviewed. Really good show. Anyhow, I can see you are being critical in a nice kind of way about the secondlife experience for noobs.
Things were different when I was a noob 5 years ago, it wasn’t so bad, and I was moved to a hub right after the “orientation”. I would have been a much harsher critic if I was writing your review. For one thing, the SL viewer 2 would have got a lot of heck for not being user friendly… and I would have compared it to the easy navigation in World of Warcraft. I do like your article, even though you were not very critical of the sl experience.
I ran through the login to see what it looks like after the closure of the CGs. I liked the fact that right after Walk they attempt to teach you to Alt+Zoom your camera.
The fact that almost everything was blank or low rez textures should allow people with so-so graphics to get through the Weclcome Area or whatever it is called before venturing into the Land of Lag.
Station #6 with your choices for where to go looks something like the Destination Guide. And I got the impression that on one of the categories, they were cycling through some of the CG locations, as I kept clicking to see what came up.
Paisley, luvvie..as an old am dram ham this side of the pond…luvvie, it breaks my heart to tell you this, but..luvvie, you made a bit of a boob on the old method acting. Dear, dear sweet girl, as I was telling my students the other day, luvvie, when acting the part of a noob…NEVER, EVER, EVER READ THE TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT!!!!!!
Alright luvvie?
Great report. I came back to Second Life for the second time with a brand new avatar in January after a brief period away. The biggest thing I noticed was the lack of mentors. I had remembered some of how it worked and ended up passing some advice to the newbies on my way through. So sad to see nothing has improved…
You just have to wonder with the mothballing of the mentors and now the Community Gateways, just how many more times can they make bad decisions?
We’ll try to catch the show with Carl. Be interesting to hear what he has to say on the subject.
Keep up the good work luvvie!
By the way, luvvie, my v’s look like w’s on your webpage, most confusing! Just to clarify it should read l u v v i e and not l u w i e.
Alright luvvie?
The new LL game plan (as I understand it) will be to drop new registrants into interesting and populated locations, so that they can engage with great content and people immediately. Evidently they think that some natural mentoring will occur there without disrupting the venue too much? Imagine a constant flow of noobs into your live show audience, for example!
Wouldn’t it be great if LL tapped into the education community for help in designing an orientation experience for new users???
@AlexHayden Junibalya you have it all kinda right, but your obviously from the “Old Vic” school of Larry and Viv…with the old Luvvie stuff…”Just ACT My Boy!!” in Aus it definitly “Dahrrrling” as you air kiss around the room not knowing who the hell these people are…..I love the theatre…love it..I miss it, the dust the mould, the smell of old greasepaint and cold cream…sigh…good times…Sigh those were the OLD days Classical Training up against Method acting and good old Stanisklavski.
@Corcosman Voom You might be right there…maybe they are doing that? not sure, I think for a lot of buisness in SL we do need to make sure that people keep coming into SL. The two areas Im passionate about Music and Arts and media need an audience they won’t expand and grow without new users…
I just read a Tweet from someone who logged in to SL, was harrassed by a naked avie for sex within 5 mins, logged out and decided she was never going back.
Couple that with the impossible obstacle of signing up and familiarising yourself with the controls (as well as finding places to go) and you have the reason that there are so many sign ups who leave never to return before they’ve even spent half an hour.
Sigh…. it really needs fixing