Why Vampires? or Why Vampires Suck

Why Vampires?

In preparation for my interview on Sunday with Vampire Dare Munro about why Vampires have become soo popular lately with Movies, TV shows, Comics, Games, Role Playing Sims and marketing campaigns based around the fad, um sorry the creatures… I am going in again undercover, to prove that I’m a serious Talk Show Host..um cough….well doing my best to get informed…ahem…soo I’m going to seek and sleuth my way into the depths of hell starting with a Second Life Vampire Role Playing sim.

Yikes going into Damnation Sim…(leaving handbag behind this time)…still haven’t changed my alt outfit for hmmmm 4 months…lazy! sigh…

I hear um, something weird behind me, I don’t think I will change windlight settings, its way too spooky, if I keep it daylight then I will feel safe…like a sort of Linden Lab nightlight.

Ok, there are people here talking in a group I’m just going to go stand in this shop for a while like I’m an innocent shopper….and um ..spy on them. I have a scarf round my neck so I should be safe from bites…wow sounds like sword fighting…do vampires sword fight?

Hmmm let me look at this rental shop..oh so  interesting I could stand here for …um …at least long enough not to raise suspicion, well I have a slight tan on my skin so I um…well they know I’m human…and haven’t been bitten! quick need to change skin to white sickly goth style to blend in!

Um ok, so whats with the hairy grub eyebrows….searches in (hidden handbag… ok so I can’t go anywhere without it! You never know when I might need like a small sewing kit, or a tissue or facial wipe!, some of those Vampire toilets are so gross…like no proper toilet paper or anything! Just a nasty ol piece of cobweb roll….) for eyebrow tweezers…ah that’s better none…well ok that works..

Ok, so now I look normal, (well normal for here I mean…) and the purple lippy matches my top I’ve been wearing for 4 months Yay! Bliss will be soooo proud sigh…the black hair, is not really vampire, its more Vampire Betty than Elvira I like it! ok so now I’m ready to cam out….

Aw everyone’s gone…hmmmm ok I’m feeling more game now I’ll put the windlight settings on Das Fog and get brave and look around….sort of ….innocently…um well  not to point fingers.. but there a lot of Phoenix users in here…ok not scary enough, I have to go to night setting…sigh….my heart is racing …I actually DO feel scared…

Are you allowed to just walk into anyone’s castle around here? ok so there was a rules card I know! However I won’t read manuals at all…so its all lost on me…I’m the idiot that just puts things together plugs it in, and starts swearing cause its not working…

Well as you can see from the map its quite laggy here…wow! there is a Vampires Asylum? like really?…..how bad can you be? if the vampires put you in an Asylum well ….ok so maybe the asylum on Damnation is full of humans …like normal people, but they think we are the crazy ones….ok better keep moving….people are beginning to stare! I see the men in the Black Coats coming for me!!!!

Ok find a bar, it says “for a drink touch and choose”, and of course smiles…they are all blood drinks, I’ll have a bloody Mary, hey! tomato juice is good for you!!! And Im undercover NOT on Duty!

One thing I notice here is you are not allowed to fly!!! I mean how can it be a Vampire RP sim without flying….really…snort

Hmmm Vampire jewelry….thats a must-have I’m sure…Ka-Ching!

Ok putting on the pussy cat one…whoops lost my scarf now I feel totally vulnerable….wow its laggy here…must be all the suckers, sucking the life out of us laggers…

Another thing I notice,, that necks around here are like breasts….they feature in posters and on people in the same way  as advertisers use women’s breasts in Normal Life…..see pic…how could any cold blooded vampire not want to contact this vampy babe with her sexy bloodless neck…sigh

Ok I see a sort of Vampire looking person…but I’m actually too scared to even talk to any of these people…

They don’t seem to be doing anything other than hanging…well not hanging…like aren’t they supposed to be hanging…upside down?

Ok this guy looks scary…I wouldn’t want to meet him at my supermarket…wonder what he looks like in RL….probably nerdy skinny boy with glasses and a really prominent adam’s apple…He’s a proud viKiNg apparently (what does that mean? Yeh I know read the Manual!) with 100% Health and 100% Stamina…well sorry but that doesn’t sound very Vampire to me, shouldn’t he be…like…dead!?

Ok this guy looks scary too, until you notice that his necklace is not on his body but floating in the air…kinds looks like he missed his neck…and that doesn’t look scary, and he looks like, phew those nipple rings must hurt when you first put them in, hope he used lots of peroxide…infections can be awful with piercing…Actually that would probably add to his horror appeal, so instead of sex appeal they have horror appeal….

Oh look! Angel Vamps…btw these RP’rs have to carry a lot of overhead text so you know how dangerous they are, you know, here let me show you…Imagine when they get the display names happening its like an entire novel floating over your head…

SOOoo noone has asked for a bite…What am I! Chopped Liver!!!! not a one…so I’m feeling braver (and very rejected, sad face.. ) I’m going to take a look at the Vampire Loony bin, um sorry, mental health facility….and see if I can free some normal people, interned in it….first I have to find a way round scary dudes 1 and 2, looks for a short cut, through the buildings, I just know if I walk past them they are going to try something…like “Hey Baby how bout getting in touch with my fang”…or something…sigh…the Vampires Wolf whistle…more like a howl I guess..

I can’t fly there so I’m going to run like hell!!!

Ok so this is really scary…until……Oh look happy greeting board from Staff just waiting to help you get bitten…I actually felt a shudder go through me just now…”.get a grip Beebe you whimp!!!”

Ja ja ja jus….just saw really really scary ……thing….um all black no face…. I was sitting with mouth open silently screaming couldn’t take pic…….where’s my mirror my steak…um knife..t bone…….um ok howling…..I hear the wolves…Holy Blood Curdling Betty!

Hmmm looks round for Asylum with normal people inside it…and talks to myself saying that is ok,  I look just …well y’know goth, and all so no one will know I’m really a human…in my Vampire Betty outfit….sticks chin out!

Ok I’m running now…and this …does ….not….look ….good….I think I wanna go home now!…but I have to get one really scary pic of something to ….prove how brave I really am…

Actually I took this pic in such a way to cover up the rental box…things just don’t look scary when they have rental boxes attached to them do they….?

Like..Oh look! Picture of Rental Box next to river of blood or molten lava or whatever it is….sorry not scary…but as its up for rent. Its gotta be safe to go in yes? …I wonder if its furnished or unfurnished…

Clearly this is the embalmed family pet…how charming….

Hmmm this does wonders for your back…and its all tingly…ok so look where are the vampires?…and I still haven’t found the Asylum maybe the entire sim is an Asylum….Im sure going nuts looking for Vampires round every grubby corner. Wipes hands with towlet..from hidden handbag..

Ok I’m done here I sorta got a feel for it. And anyway I gotta pick the kids up from school in a min….

I must say though I did kinda feel all irksome…so I get why people might like this. I always wanted to be Morticia from the Adams Family when I was a kid…can’t wait to get into my scary Halloween dress for the show on Sunday to meet Dare Munro the Vampire..wow let me tell you he is one scary dude! His real life picture says, “Serial Killer meets Vampire’ without a doubt. (if its really him)….and he is not just some middle aged housewife like me…with a Mumu..Well.. I don’t wear Mumus, maybe leggings…but not a Mumu…Um I think I’ll wear a very tight leather neck scarf this Sunday, though not meaning to be sort of disrespectful or anything maybe I’m not his type?..but you know just in case…

Paisley the Betty Vampire for a Day!…well only an hour really…