Delinda

Pretty as a picture and oh so very real. She gave this real life pic to me probably in 2007. She wouldn’t mind that I showed you all now. I told her she was beautiful and looked like Fran Fine..she laughed and was embarrassed.

Last night when I said she was close to waking up, she was. She was on the Glasgow scale at an 11, 15 being awake. Her eyes were opening and closing, and she was tearful at times, which her Dr said was probably the music that was being played to her by her beloved Second Life Musicians. I felt safe in the knowledge that she was likely to wake before I woke the next morning. Like every person that is told that someone they care about has died, there is disbelief at first, your brain cannot comprehend what it is you are hearing/seeing, and I saw the news, via her freinds on Twitter and then on email. I still can’t really believe it..

I can’t remember how I first met Delinda well over 3 years ago, it was probably through our freinds at Sailors Cove. Jojamella Soon my then assistant probably introduced us, and Delinda took me to meet someone, it might have been Chestnut, to show me her horse…I needed someone to help on Tonight Live and thought of her enthusiasm for promoting events in SL. She was a great fit.

Over the last few years I’ve got to know Delinda, both in SL and as a friend to her with her real life also. During that time she has had breast cancer, kidney failure and great personal family loss. Through it all she was incredibly strong and positive. She confided in me once in a rare moment of fear for herself, that she didn’t want to die. She told me she was afraid to die. But she only ever said that once, when she was at a low ebb, whilst on dialyse before she found out about the Kidney Exchange program.

She was a huge fan of twitter and the IM, and I would get IM’s from her all over the place, a few months ago she was on her way by plane to her brothers house. She was scared, very scared. She IM’d me and just needed to talk. Her sister-in law had died. And she didn’t know what to say and what she would find when she landed, her family were for-most in her thoughts. Her sister in Law was like a Sister, and her brother the closest person in her life along with his kids. She said to me, “I can’t stand this feeling this greif I want it too end, I want to wake up and find out its not true” Those words haunt me now…I know in a way, a much smaller way how she felt. I say smaller because although she was my freind, and I shared a lot of good and bad times with her, and she confided in me, I’m not her family. No amount of greif that you and I share will be a patch on what they are feeling now.

You will hear a lot of great things said about Delinda over the next while. While we mourn her, and its always tempting to put a person on a pedestal when they die. But, Delinda deserved to be put on a pedestal. I beleive I knew her as she really was, an incredibly kind, funny smart, passionate loving person, capable of great sacrifice, and above all incredibly honest. She didn’t realy have any flaws. She was scatterbrained at times, but it was never because of lack of caring, sometimes her enthusiasm made her agree to all sorts of things that were impossible to do. Sometimes she was so damn distruptive during our rehersals I had to ban her from the stage. But she allways made me smile, god damn it, she made me laugh till my sides ached…

Delinda was a pianist in real life. I can’t talk about the story behind her not playing anymore. But she knew and understood music. It was in her blood, and although she stopped playing, she encouraged others to acheive the greatness she could not bring herself to pursue.

Live n Kickin was Delinda’s baby in a way, I just guided her, mostly, and we had some wonderfull times scouring the grid for great locations for the musicians. I’ll miss that a great deal. There are so many people on Second Life that she helped get known, too many for me with my addled brain right now to name. You know who you all are. Delinda was my greatest champion and I hers. I dedicate all of Live n Kickin to her, its stays as a memorial to her and what she loved most. Music, freinds, laughter, and her family.

She appeared on Tonight Live, as a guest once, she was so incredibly nervous about it, but she wanted to talk about Music. And she pushed through. Finishing up typically Delinda with “OK I gotta go Pee” and dropping the headset on the ground…we left it in, it was just so her…

She’s still up there on Treet.tv but Im not going to give you a link, you can do a search if you want on www.treet.tv She wanted me to do a story on the transplant exchange and I will, I would have loved her to present it, but I was worried she would pike out…When the dust has settled I’ll plan it for next year.

Delinda was the real deal. And its so hard to think of her and realise that I won’t ever meet her, or see her again in RL or SL.

I’m proud to have known her, and will try to remember her as she was. She was like a little  sister to me. She said I was like a sort of maternal influence!  but really I’m not that old!

She was writing a book on her travels around the world, where part of her agreement to go on it with her brother and her neice and nephew was that she would spread the word about the exchange programme. I hope that once her family have the strength that her book could be put together in some form. She was thrilled to catch up with her Dr in Berlin for a conference that she attended.

Tomorrows show is going to be hard. I’m tempted to cancel it, but there are guests on the show that need to be heard, and I cannot let them down. I also know she would think  I’m a damn woose if I didn’t do it. She was so strong for herself her family and her freinds. I won’t be talking much about her on tomorrows show, I can’t ..its too hard. But Rusty will sing a song for her tomorrow.

I know many of you are organising memorials ect…for her. I think I can safely say that she want you all to have fun, and to remember her with a smile. Wear a silly hat for her and bring your silliest annimation. She wouldn’t want sad songs, she would want you all to Rock it out and have fun. And support her Kidney Transplant Program. Her favourite animation was the boing one…it was so annoying so if you can find one have a bounce.

If any of her real life freinds or family do read this. My deepest sympathies are with you, know that you were her top priority always. She was a rare inspiration.

All I can say farewell sweet girl…. why…why …why? its just so unfair.

Her blog http://delindasdiary.wordpress.com/